The Happiness You See, The Journey You Don't

Friday evening, I crowded into a small gymnasium full of people to watch my first child cross the graduation stage to receive his high school diploma. I made sure to take plenty of pictures, like this:

Here's the thing about moments like these, there's what you see and what you don't.

For instance, this is a picture of a handsome young man who was forced to put his gown on early and take pictures with his momma who hugged him a little extra that morning before he got into the car and drove away for his last day of school. This is an 18-year old who scored a 24 on his ACT right out of the box, first time with zero prep who is wearing a college and career ready tassel as part of his gown. This is a kid who now flashes a smile of straight white teeth in most pictures, after having worn braces for the past two years and finally getting them off last month. This is a self-taught musician who can play guitar, ukulele, a little piano, trombone and tuba. By the end of June, this graduate will have whipped out his Passport and boarded a plane for Scotland where he'll be on a short term mission trip, working at a soccer camp. This is a son, a brother, a friend, a student, an employee, and a daddy.

Maybe you didn't guess every bit of all I listed, but I'm fairly certain you could have figured out some of the facts.

Now for the part you don't see.

You don't see that during his freshman year, this guy would find out he was going to be a dad. You weren't there the day he watched his little girl take her very first breath before sitting in a chair and melting into a puddle of tears just 3 days after his16th birthday. That same young dad would go on to quit all extra activities his junior year and would start working 4 or 5 days a week in order to pay child support and buy clothes and a high chair and car seats and toys and all those other things kids need. He'd save up enough money to pay for half of his first car, start chipping in on his car insurance, and he has almost never asked for gas money. While his peers may have gone to basketball games and the movies, he had visitation every other weekend and would spent his time coloring alongside the littlest princess.

Now, don't get me wrong, we've had our fair shares of highs and lows. I've got numerous pages of my journal dedicated to prayers that we would get through those days. We just needed to survive. Parenting a child who is also learning how to be a parent is not easy. He's had a moment or two when he's wanted to call it a day and throw in the towel, and I had to remind him that he was still under 18, living in our home and not allowed to quit. We've pushed and pulled at each other and I have had fears that we were going to break apart into a thousand pieces. I thought I would lose my mind, and he probably had a few choice thoughts about our parenting as well.

But looking back, there were the friends who listened to me when I needed them, the people who sent our child cards or letters with encouraging words, the ones that took the time to look him in the eye and ask him about his baby and ask to see pictures, the ones that gave him chances to learn and to work, the church that opened their arms and took both him and his sweet baby girl in. They were so valuable and so precious to our family, and we certainly wouldn't have made it through without them.

It's moments like these, it's pictures like these that make me stop and remember this path he's taken, the rough road he walked when he wasn't much more than a child himself, and in that moment of reflection I am fiercely proud of him. I'm the momma who made the ugly face when he moved his tassel over and couldn't stop the tears that ran down my cheeks. The one who has been over the moon excited and celebrated every moment of this graduation week. He has carried so much responsibility and faced so many challenges for one so young, and as his sweet little girl said as I held her in my lap Friday night, "Yeah Daddy!! He did it!!"