IF: Equip, Day 3, Nehemiah 2:9-20

If you'd like to read today's passage of scripture, please click here.

Finally, we're getting somewhere, right? Nehemiah has packed up his bags with the king's favor shown by the letters in his hand, and he's on the road back to Jerusalem. We're gonna see some action! Bricks are going to be laid, the people will be on the road to recovery. Nope.

Looking at this scripture, it doesn't really seem like we make it very far at all. We're still waiting to start the rebuild...is that a theme I'm supposed to be getting in this? Waiting? I hate waiting. I am the queen of impatience.

What I take away from this passage:

• v.11 - Nehemiah's finally back in Jerusalem, in fact for whatever reason, scripture points out that he's been there for 3 days. Now, I can't say for sure how things played out back then, but when I look back at the scripture prior to this passage, and in v. 9, Nehemiah is traveling officers of the army and letters of the king. Anyone else think this had to gather at least a little bit of attention? This wasn't just a man on a donkey traveling the countryside. Makes you wonder what his arrival was like. Did the people know who he was? That he was a Jew? Did they immediately start asking him questions? Had the rumor mill run ahead of him and news of the cup bearer's return reached Jerusalem before he did? I want to know what went on in those first three days!
• v. 12-13,16 - In these verses we see that Nehemiah gets up and goes out in the night to survey the city. Personally, I'm a night owl girl. In fact, no matter the season, I have let my dog out for the night and just stood on the back porch looking up at the sky. Living out in the country, I find it peaceful to just let the stillness, the gentle sounds of nature, the cool air brings inner peace. The world may still be in turmoil, but for a moment, I'm just a child of the Maker of the Universe standing in the light of the moon He placed in the sky, and for a moment, problems don't seem quite so large. I can imagine that had it been the heat of day, Nehemiah wouldn't have had the chance to truly get a look at the work to be done uninterrupted. Also, we see Nehemiah's ability to be patient and to show restraint in that he hasn't given in to the desire to rush around and tell the people, "Look, I've come so we can start fixing this wall! Don't be sad! There's hope!" If the people were as dismayed as we read at the beginning of the book, I would have understood immediately wanting to bring them something to lift their spirits. And yet, Nehemiah "told no one what my God had put on my heart to do for Jerusalem." 
• v.14 - The one thing that caught my attention in this singular verse is that his animal didn't have room to pass. For me, it just paints a visual picture of how great the destruction of the wall could have been that an animal made to travel rocky terrain couldn't pass through. Thinking back to pictures I've seen of rubble left behind after a natural disaster or during a war, I can only imagine that after being freed from their exiled captivity, Israel returns to the place God has set aside for them and just sees this mess. The wall around the city in heaps of rubble and ruin, the protection it offered gone. It must have been so upsetting and disheartening, their spirits must have been torn back down by what they came home to.
• v.16 -  Nehemiah clarifies once more in v.16, "And the officials did not know where I had gone or what I was doing, and I  had not yet told the Jews, the priests, the nobles, the officials, and the rest who were to do the work." Again, I am halted by the restraint Nehemiah showed in keeping things to himself. 
• v.17-20 - Finally, the cat's out of the bag. Nehemiah has shared with the people the plan to rebuild what was destroyed. And so sets the stage for what I already know is coming up more than once in the chapters to come - God's work going forth and opposition that arises.  The people finally have a godly leader, they have backing from the king, they have started to prepare themselves and have "strengthened their hands for the good work," (v.18) and still, someone has to come along and start trouble, spitting out ugly words of negativity meant to stop them in their tracks. I've been there. And there are times when I have kept right on moving forward, and there are times when I have stopped, thought about it, and decided maybe those voices have a point. Maybe they are right. But Nehemiah, he stands firm and fires back with "The God of heaven will make us prosper, and we his servants will arise and build..."(v.20)

I don't believe God has stopped calling His people forward to do His work. In a world of brokenness and despair, it may not be the remnants of a physical wall surrounding out home, but I  know we've taken a few hits and there are gaping holes that we have unprotected from our enemy's next attack. If we went out in the middle of the night tonight, under the light of the moon and just wandered through the streets and homes where we live, I wonder just what kind of damage we'd find.

It's tempting to want to rush forward and do something. It's tempting to want to run in with a mouth full of words, letting them spill out in hopes of lifting someone's hope. It's another to wait on God's timing, to follow His direction even when He says, for this moment, you need to be silent. You need to keep praying. You need to let Me lead. You need to trust and follow. Oh, to be a Nehemiah in a fast-paced world wanting quick fixes that momentarily numb the pain.

And when we finally get that green light, when all the excitement to see just what God can do jumps around inside us and we finally get to share, what will we do when someone says it will never work? You and your faith may have worked in the past, but this world, it doesn't want what you have. It needs real solutions, not what you're trying to share. What then? Will we still choose to take the next step, will we continue to hold tight to the fact that WE will never be the solution, but the God of heaven? Oh, He can do so much more than we could ever imagine.

May we be determined to be His servants. In this broken world, may we arise and begin to build.

Till next time! - C

If: Equip, Day 2, Nehemiah 2:1-8

Day 2 of the IF:Prayer study has us sitting in the presence of a Persian king, as Nehemiah the cup bearer is presenting the wine. If you wish to visit the IF: Equip page for today's study, please click here. If you wish to read through today's passage, please follow the link to Bible Gateway here.

Some of my thoughts as I was reading through Nehemiah 2:1-8:

• v.1 - "I had not been sad in his presence." Leaving Nehemiah as I did in Chapter 1, in a state of fasting, mourning and weeping and pouring out his prayers to God, I have to wonder how well he did at not being sad. I'm awful at hiding my true feelings, so, I'm always intrigued by those that can put up a good enough front as to mask their emotions.
• v.2-3 - So, maybe our main character didn't do such a good job pretending anyhow, because the king inquires that not only is Nehemiah possessing a sad face, but he characterizes it as a "sickness of the heart." This isn't just a bad day or a spring cold that's got him down, it's an inner sadness that sits right at the center of the cup bearer. But, what I love even more is the very honest and human reaction that, even though he mentions that he was afraid when the king asked, Nehemiah just starts spilling out all his sorrow in verse 3. It's like the bottle has been uncapped and all the contents under pressure burst out, and his wording may seem a little dramatic as he recounts all his woes, but I think the weight of the state of Jerusalem is still so heavy and tender for Nehemiah. 
• v.4 - One of the lessons to be learned from Nehemiah in these verses for me sits right here. The kings asks what his servant is requesting and we read in verse 4, Nehemiah "prayed to the God of heaven." You know he had to have the answer already on the tip of his tongue. And while Nehemiah may have been abundant in relaying his troubles in verse 3, here in verse 4, he shows enough restraint, enough wisdom to stop and pray before talking. I do NOT possess this trait 24/7, especially if it is a heavy burden that has me in emotional knots. There's a really good chance that I've already mentioned to God in my prayers, and as He sees the innermost parts of me, the plans that I've formulated to make things better. So, the answer to the question, 'What's your request? What do you want?' could've have gotten an immediate breakdown of my ideas. Whether he was praying for the right words, or for God to grant him the courage to be bold and ask, or for the king's heart to be pliant to his requests, or all the above, Nehemiah prayed before speaking. 
• v. 5- 8 - Each time I read through Nehemiah, there's a certain encouragement that comes from the boldness displayed in Nehemiah's answer. Not only does he ask to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, to take a leave of absence from being in the king's court, but he asks for the king to take it a step further, giving him safe passage and supplies to do the work. I'm not real sure how important cup bearers were to the grand scheme of a throne room, or if there was more to the king and Nehemiah's relationship than king and servant, but to ask for the king to help in Nehemiah's task of rebuilding a Jewish city and temple seems a little crazy. But, he does it, and the king agrees. Do you think this all went down in the throne room and the other people in there were like, mouths open, stunned in silence by this interaction between Jewish man and the Persian king? Nevertheless, we see that the Nehemiah's success lay in the fact that "the good hand of my God was upon me." (v.8)

So, what does all this mean in regards to God, the world and myself? In today's society, with all the changes in laws and political seats, it's can be disheartening to a Christian. It feels like we're becoming a tiny piece of the picture, fading into the background, even chastised for our beliefs. It's easy to forget in the face of the world around us, that God is bigger than any earthly ruler and that hasn't changed from the days when He moved the mind of a Persian king to grant the request of Israelite servant cup bearer. Don't lose hope and faith that God is ultimately in control and if it's in His plans, it will happen.

As for me, I'm reminded that in all things, my focus has to remain on God. Whether it be that moment when I need to find the words to say, the answers I'm seeking, or whether I'm searching for the courage to take the first step and follow His plans, I must be centered on Him. Stop and pray. Be bold and find my strength in the Lord. He's so much bigger than the earthly, He is above all things and that will never change.

May the good hand of my God be upon me today and every day.

Till next time - C

IF:Equip, Day 1, Nehemiah 1

Last week it was brought to my attention that the website If:Equip was starting a study of the book of Nehemiah. Not your typical study with homework pages and small group get togethers, but more a time to read through the scripture, reflect and pray on it. I have studied the book of Nehemiah twice now, each time covering every verse, but honestly, I have felt a great need to have a time of focused prayer in my life right now and this appears to be a wonderful opportunity, so I decided to take part. 

The reading started yesterday with the Nehemiah Chapter 1, and please know that it isn't too late if you'd like to join in reading along with women across the country. What a wonderful thing to be a part of a larger group of women of all ages, races, and locations, studying the Word together and sharing what we're taking from the passage! 

So, with all that said, I'm choosing to blog my thoughts from Day 1, Nehemiah, Chapter 1. Please click HERE if you'd like to read the scripture passage in its entirety. 

Things that stuck out to me when I read through Nehemiah 1:

• Verses 2 - 3: Jerusalem is a hot mess. The people are a mess, in great trouble and shame. The physical wall and gates are busted up. All of this is post exile. This is the state of the survivors. It just reminds me that just because you endure a moment of crisis, it doesn't mean that everything is a-okay. Sometimes the effects of a moment of pain last far beyond the actual moment.
• Verse 4: In response to the news, Nehemiah is truly broken over the state of things. He shows an outward focus, a deep love for others that brings about weeping and mourning for days. When have I felt so moved, such care and compassion as Nehemiah shows here? I think this is a perfect example of the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself."  
• Verse 4: Nehemiah does not automatically go into fix it mode. There is no committee formed that sends out feelers for people to volunteer who have building skills. No, his answer is to first go to the One who is ultimately in control and seeking His guidance first. And notice that Nehemiah approaches God with an offering of sacrifice, choosing to fast and pray, taking away his own sustenance and replacing it with seeking God's counsel. That is such a contrary, unique, uncommon practice than how I usually respond when I am facing a problem,
• Nehemiah's Prayer, Verses 5 - 11:
• There's an acknowledgment of who God is first and foremost
• He requests that his words be heard, an earnest asking for attention
• We see an acceptance of Israel's and his part in this. There is no denial or evading of sin, but instead he comes acknowledging that God had told them beforehand what would happen, that there would be a separation. I think sometimes (okay, often), when I am battling a particular issue, I don't like to take the time to reflect. To see how I got into the mess, confessing my own responsibility and sin, I just like to focus on the God fixing things for me instead. Accepting a role in some of the places I've landed can be painful.
• A repetition of the asking to be heard (v.11). I think anytime you see something repeated, it carries a little more weight, and in this case, it makes me feel the depth of Nehemiah's emotional state when he's praying. That he is just desperate and earnest and pleading with his words, and therefore he is asking once more that God would hear him. 
• Finally he comes asking for success and mercy. No doubt, hearing the news of Jerusalem was fresh in Nehemiah's mind, and so it could be tempting just to charge forth and start praying up the requests, but notice, he takes the time to praise, to acknowledge, to confess first. 

So, what does this mean about God, about me, and the world?

Well, when I read it, the words may have been Old Testament, but they're still true and applicable to day. I'm living in a world that is broken, and just because my fellow humans may make it through a physical catastrophe or a financial crisis, it doesn't mean everything's 100% repaired. Often, there's as much to be done in the repairing and restoration as there was in the surviving. God is still in control and He is still the answer for the question, what do I do now? Seeking Him first should always be my first step. I also certainly think I could take a page from Nehemiah's book on what it means to be whole-heartedly upset and caring for others who may be going through a troubled time. To sacrifice something of me to go to God on their behalf is not a typical behavior I practice. Like most of the world around me, I'm so focused and pouring my efforts and attention into what affects me and those closest to me, that I feel I can't spare very much for others. A pray here and there, maybe, but weeping, mourning and fasting? No, probably not. This passage is an encouragement as to how I respond to what I see going on around me, even if it isn't happening in my own house. 

Seeing as I know how things play out in this book, I know that God can move in a mighty way when His people act as Nehemiah did. So, I'm excited to come alongside the IF group and apply these days of scriptural study to my life. 

Till next time - C